Where is this 'village'... sign me up!

The idea of  'it takes a village to raise a child' has come up with my mommy friends lately in a few different conversations. So where is this village and sign me up! 


I actually have a pretend 'dream village' where I occasionally wish I was, ok I lie, I wish I was there ALL. THE. TIME. My make believe village is on the Island of Bali.... hmmm sandy beaches, hot weather, amazing food...  but seriously Bali is a very child-friendly place and everyone takes care of one another in the community. I grew up not far away as an expat kid in Jakarta so I have seen the culture up close.  Families often live in a family compound and help each other out. Now before having children the idea of living with family in one compound would not sound appealing however after child it sounds kind of nice. Having a group of people there to help you... oh imagine! Right after birth when your so tired, no worries your family is there to do it all while you just relax and get to know your baby. When your baby does not want to be put down, no problem pass him onto the next family member. All those extra hands, all the possibilities....

Modern parenting in the western world in my opinion has become what it is our of necessity due to our lack of a 'village' not necessarily that it is best for the mother or the child. For instance the idea of putting your child down whenever possible when they are newborn, is that because it is actually better for them to 'learn' to sleep on their own or is it because later on the child will have to be on their own (not enough hands around to help) and therefore best get them used to it early?


The lack of village we have also puts a hug strain on mothers as they must 'do it all' or close to it all on their own. The task of raising children is huge in my opinion and I don't think it was ever meant to be done alone or as a pair but by a community and family. The idea of independence and individuality is highly regarded in the west and so here we are independently and individually looking after our own families with minimal help. Some of us are lucky and have close nit families who are there at the ready to lend a helping hand though too often families are far away or too busy.  


More often then not we have created the 'modern village' through friends, social networks like facebook, twitter and blogs.  These are helpful and I know I value my made up village as they are my lifeline but still often long for my bali village.